The Return to Normalcy

...or as close to it as I ever get. You see, I started this blog to record a specific adventure. I wanted to vent, to pour out and share my experience so we could all drink a cup and converse over it. And now I have returned and the experience has all been consumed and the return is complete. The adventure is not over, it never really is, but the return is complete and, quite frankly, I can't keep up with two blogs at once. In fact, I'm lousy at keeping up with ONE blog at once. So, I've decided to go back to the beginning. So, while the Africa chronicles are over and I'm ending this blog, I'll still be recording my adventures, my random thoughts, my frustrations, and my other ramblings on the blog that started it all: http://www.drowningintheshallowend.blogspot.com. I'm out.

Home for the Weekend

I go to school approximately nine hours away from my hometown, so I had never done the traditional going-home-for-the-weekend thing that many college students do. Last weekend, however, I finally got to understand this phenomenon. Finally now, during my last semester of undergraduate work, I got to drive home for a weekend. Now I finally understand the draw of this behavior.

There is something incredibly relaxing about just being at home. There's a feeling of being cared for by your parents, even though you're an adult. You get to see people without having to worry about the holiday rush. In addition, people largely don't expect you to be home and you're not there for very long, so there are very few obligations that must be met. Why couldn't I have discovered this sooner?

During my visit I went to see some friends perform at the high school Solo and Ensemble contest. I don't think I've felt quite that old in recent memory. I realized that it has been four full years since I performed in the contest, and kids that I remember being tiny are now performing as seniors in high school. This aging thing really MUST be stopped...

Well, THAT was a flop...

So, I failed miserably at keeping up with this blog over the holidays. I could give you a long list of reasons for this, but that would be boring, so I'm going to just apologize and move on instead.

It was really funny to stare at the flurries that fell on Christmas Day and think about my friends in Cape Town who were heading to the beach to celebrate the holiday. I always associate Christmas with cold and think about songs like "White Christmas" and "Baby, It's Cold Outside", but in the southern hemisphere, Christmas is in the middle of the summer and, as my contacts tell me, involves beaches and braais. It's amazing how much climate can affect culture, even when the holiday is essentially the same.

Back to School=BIZARRE
But to move more into the present, I have finally returned to school. It's strange to be on campus again after so long. Although time has passed, campus life feels the same, almost as though I never left. For the first couple weeks of the semester, I ran into people constantly and was bombarded with excited greetings and bunches of questions about my experience. Now, though, everything has settled down a bit and in a way, it almost feels like I made the whole thing up. I keep repeating to myself, "I lived for four months in Cape Town. I went to South Africa. I missed a whole semester here..." just to make sure the experience doesn't disappear from everyday life.

These return feelings, they tell me, are called "reverse culture shock" and happen to everyone, but I don't really think that's the case here. It's not "shock" so much as slight discomfort. Some of my skills from South Africa are coming in VERY handy, though. For instance, I'm living in an apartment off-campus and have to use those newfound skills that fall under the heading of "cooking". (I don't know that hamburger helper, oven pizza, soup, toast, salad, and macaroni and cheese count, but I'm giving myself credit.)

Life in an off-campus apartment with one person is really different from life in a house with 12 people. Living with just my friend Ashley (who just returned from study in Australia, by the way) is so much quieter than existance in the house in Cape Town. I like it, though. It's nice to have television and internet access whenever I want it, a safe neighborhood, and a bureaucratic system that I understand. Still, I miss the excitement and natural beauty of Cape Town. The view from my apartment of Memorial Union stabbing the cloudy sky doesn't even begin to compare with the view of Table Mountain silhouetted against the bright blue firmament that I had from the front gate of the house in Cape Town. *sigh*

Future Update
In May I'll graduate and go to seminary, which will put me in my third school in as many semesters. What campus will I be invading next? It's still up in the air, but I have three acceptance letters so far (St. Paul in KC, Garrett at Northwestern, and Candler at Emory) and I'm waiting to hear from two more schools about admission (Duke and Boston U). I'm also holding out hope for financial aid, since education has a nasty habit of being expensive. I'm starting to feel like my future is in a roulette wheel..."Round and round the wheel goes, where it stops? Nobody knows!" In a few more months I have to make a decision, though, so I'll keep you posted.

Stay home? HA!

I know, you thought my adventures were over. I'm safely on U.S. soil and have completed my travels, right? C'mon, you know me better than that. After a quick visit to Missouri and a nice Thanksgiving at home, I set out on an eight-day, seventeen-state voyage to visit seminaries. No traveling companions, just me, Jack (that's my Buick Century), twelve pages of Mapquest directions, and the road.

The U.S. is funny in its sheer size and strange diversity within a seemingly homogenous population. While everyone speaks the same language, words and accents vary from region to region. People drive more quickly or slowly in different states and billboards go from beer advertisements and movie posters on the east coast to a glimpse of the abortion debate on 30-foot signs in Missouri.

Day 1/2: I ventured across northern Ohio, Pennsylvania, and upstate New York to Boston, Mass. for a visit to Boston University. I was fortunate not to encounter any lake-effect snow, and Boston seemed almost to be having a heat-wave for late November. I stayed at an international house/bed and breakfast in the suburbs, then took the T (commuter train) into Boston for the visit to the seminary. Boston is a great city, similar to an overgrown college town due to the presence of more than fifty colleges and universities. I liked BU's Theological School, too.

Day 2/3: After the visit to BU, Jack and I trucked south through Connecticut, Rhode Island, Delaware, and New York to Princeton, New Jersey. I stayed in a hotel, then visited the school. While it has a beautiful campus, it doesn't seem to be my kind of place.

Day 3/4: I fled Princeton in favor of my sister's warm welcome and the state of Maryland. After a brief visit, I continued FURTHER south to North Carolina, where I saw my wonderful aunt, uncle, and cousins.

Day 4/5: I spent the day visiting Duke Divinity school, which I found to be an excellent school, if not quite as welcoming as BU. When the day concluded, I hopped back into Jack and drove into the "deep south" to Atlanta.

Day 5/6: I was thoroughly spoiled during my visit to Atlanta by my aunt, who took me out to dinner and gave me a cooking lesson and showed me her wonderful hospitality. I also stopped to visit Candler School of Theology at Emory University, which was a wonderful school.

Day 6/7: I spent another LONG day on the road heading to Missouri, where I got to go to my first NFL game in Kansas City. Thanks to Chris's fabulousity, I got to see the Broncos vs. the Chiefs in Arrowhead stadium. The Broncos lost, but it was still a very good game.

Day 8/9: As "On the road again..." reverberated through my head, I drove to Evanston, IL to visit Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. Again, I found the school to be quite agreeable. I was also well-taken-care-of by a family friend.

Day 10/11: On my way home from Garrett, I stopped off to visit my mom on a business trip and got to visit a Hershey factory. I then continued down the road with 45 lbs. of chocolate.

That's a quick summary of the actual geographical locations and quick visits of my trip. A few things I observed:

1) Driving in the northwest is NUTS. Truly, people are kamikazes.
2) Billboards can be extremely entertaining. In the northwest they mostly advertised alcoholic beverages and movies. Further south they became advertisements for restaurants and hotels, and along I-70, they involved a strange mix of anti-gambling signs and advertisements for adult entertainment (EW!).
3) No matter where you go, Starbucks is there. They're just like McDonalds these days. Am I the only one who finds that a little creepy?
4) You can't find Pepsi in Atlanta. If there's one problem with going to that school, it's the prevalence of Coke in the area. I'll have to think on that a bit...
5) Tolls: What happens if you don't realize it's a toll road and quite literally don't have the money on you. Particularly if you're at one of those computerized throw-change-in-the-bucket sort of tolls? Do little green men emerge from the pavement and carry you away? Do you just have to wait there until some kind soul or frustrated traveler behind you comes and provides you with correct change? Are you just stuck there forever like "The Man Who Never Returned" in that Kingston Trio song? WHAT HAPPENS?!?! If anyone knows the answer to this conundrum, please let me know.
6) I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of living in dorms as a graduate student. I wouldn't trade my years in FARC for anything, but I don't think I spend my early twenties in a dorm room with a community bathroom. I need to get used to living on my own. But if I choose a school that's predominantly residential, what then? I must continue weighing that one.
7) I need to come up with a way of maintaining better internet access. This whole on-the-road-with-no-computer thing is killing me. Not to mention the issue of our home computer refusing to acknowledge the internet. So please pardon my long delay in writing. I hope (hope is the operative word here) that it won't happen again. If it does, I'm sorry. Just don't give up, I'm still writing.

Out of the Bag, Out of the Country

I have returned, triumphant. While my return was initially secret in order to ensure success with a few surprises I had planned, I can now proudly announce that I have returned to the U.S. safely and have been in the country for a week now.

I was very sad to leave South Africa, bidding goodbye to my friends and the natural beauty of that country. However, returning to the U.S. has been wonderful as well. I have been spending the last week with friends and family, enjoying the foods and comforts I was deprived of in South Africa. Now I'm armed with stories and photos, and ready to see the people I missed.

There will probably be more posts over the next few weeks as I process my experiences, finish unpacking, and work through some culture shock. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Pictures of Poverty

I've mentioned my work with SAEP in previous posts, but last week I finally got my pictures developed from the day I took my camera to the creche with me. Below are some of the photos from the creche where I've been working for the last four months.


Zamukhanyo Educare, the creche where I have been working, cares for 75-100 children, ages 0-6, each day.


We taught the children to play "Duck, Duck, Goose" on one of our first visits and it soon became one of their favorite activities.


There are only 4 staff members who oversee the children on a daily basis, so things can get a bit chaotic. This staff member is taking a well-deserved moment to rest!


Whites rarely go into the townships for safety reasons, so the children were fascinated by their visitors. That’s actually me in the center of the picture, surrounded by children who are investigating my hair.


The children press in, all eager to be in the picture.


Esther, Kirema, and I enjoyed the kid’s attention and affection.


Ernestina, Kirema, Esther, and I (back, from left) pose with the children. The woman in the front is the principal of the creche, Nubuntu.

I have now completed my capstone and finished my period of volunteering at Zamukhanyo. Still, these images and the lessons I learn will remain with me.

10 Things: Self-Reflection

Several of my friends have put up blog posts lately listing 10 things most people don't know about them. Most of the lists have included hidden emotions, former political leanings, weaknesses, fears, and old stories. After reading a few, I decided to twist the idea a bit. I decided to make a list of 10 things I didn't know about myself before I came to South Africa. Beware, this contains more emotional drivel than my usual entries, so if you don't want to hear me talk about "Me, me, ME!", you might want to skip this entry.

1. I am very independent. When I first mentioned to people that I was coming to South Africa, many were aghast that I would go somewhere so far away, essentially by myself. Then in a discussion with a couple of my housemates about first impressions of one another, several people said they could tell in the first couple of days that I'm very independent. That gave me pause, because I had never really considered that to be one of my traits. On further inspection, however, I began to see what they meant. I don't follow the herd to drinking parties or common visit points. I'm content to go church-shopping by myself, join groups with no other members my age, discover new places and activities on my own, or stay behind and entertain myself when people are doing things that don't interest me.

2. I don't hate cooking. Wait, don't jump on this as a sudden interest in domestic arts! I realized since I got here that I can cook and I am even willing to do so. The thing I actually don't like is doing the dishes after I cook. I know that if I cook I'll have to wash pans and plates and utensils, and I'd rather avoid that, so I avoid cooking in the first place. But cooking itself isn't so bad.

3. I'm firmly rooted. I realize that this sentence seems to be missing the prepositional phrase "in..." But I'm not simply rooted in one thing. I have deep connections, unrecognized before, to my church and the community in my hometown, to my family, to my friends both at school and at home, to my church and the organizations I work for at school, and to my beliefs. When I first arrived and was immensely homesick, when everything else seemed swept away by distance and time, I relied on my faith and knew I would be OK because I still felt connected in some strange way.

4. I take action on my passions. When I arrived in Cape Town, I saw a span of nearly five months stretched before me with no time commitments besides classes and no pressure to fulfill expectations on me. I was free to use my time as I pleased. I was a bit surprised to find that, despite having complete freedom of choice in the matter, many of the things I chose to spend my time on here are things I spend my time on in the States as well. I became active in a church and a Bible Study group, started volunteering with an organization working to alleviate poverty and improve educational opportunities, developed regular attendance of poetry readings, and spent my remaining time traveling and relaxing with friends. Even 9000 miles away from my usual activities, I still got involved in similar things: exploring my faith, serving others, supporting the arts, traveling, and building relationships.

5. I love academics! Yes, I'm a nerd, and I can admit it. I enjoy excellent, thought-provoking lectures and discussions. I frequently enjoy reading academic journals and I get excited when I get to write a paper about a topic that interests me. When my classmates let their classes slide because their grades don't transfer, I worked just as hard because, I realized, I enjoy doing it.

6. I'm OK with ordinary. Many of my housemates here are political science majors who dream of being elected to office someday. I realized, in listening to their ambitions, that I don't exactly agree. While I am willing to work hard and like to achieve, I don't set my sites on fame, wealth, or power. My heroes aren't usually the people in the spotlight; I have always looked up to the people in my life who loved and challenged me. I want to emulate the people who have inspired me: my parents, my teachers, the people in my life who work hard and serve the people around them. I am content with a small existence. I just want to be remembered someday as a person who loved and served God and the people around me.

7. I have neat-freak tendencies. I know this is shocking, but try not to fall out of your computer chair, I wouldn't want you to get hurt. I have discovered, in living in a house with 12 people, that I get frustrated by mess and clutter. I can handle disorganized piles of paper on desks, but I find it enormously annoying when dirty dishes pile up for days, when the garbage can spills over, and when the surfaces are all stained and sticky. I find people who lose things constantly to be incredibly irresponsible. The pervasive smell of smoke in the house next door would be totally unacceptable if I lived there. I can't stand it when a bedroom floor is covered with clothes and papers spilled everywhere. I usually consider myself a somewhat messy person, but I have discovered that I am neater and less tolerant of mess than I previously realized.

8. I want to be a poet. I have attempted to write poetry since I was 10 years old. It has never been great, and I've never had the courage to share my poems with anyone. Yet attending poetry readings for the last 4 months has inspired me to keep writing and trying to improve. Poetry is an incredibly beautiful form of self-expression. I have always loved playing with words, and poetry is a perfect vehicle for that. I actually got up the courage to read a few poems in front of people this week, albeit under the impression that if I failed I could avoid the people/place for the rest of my life. I actually enjoyed it. I now intend to keep writing, perhaps more seriously.

9. I can... I am more capable than I ever imagined. I have discovered that I can do a vast assortment of things, given proper instruction and provided that I don't think about failing. I am by no means infallible or indestructable, I have failed and I will continue to fail throughout my life. But there are a huge number of things that I can do.

10. I'm motivated. I set my mind on something, I set goals, and then I get to work achieving them. I wanted to come to Africa, so I did the researched, did the paperwork, and came. I wanted to complete my senior capstone doing a service-learning project while abroad, which I don't think anyone has done before, so I simply talked to people and made the arrangements to get it done. I want to go to seminary, so I have started working on applications, even while I'm on another continent. Right now, however, I'm hungry and I'm excited to go enjoy the spring sunshine, so I'm going to go find something to eat and have a picnic outside!